Rumblings on Breaking Free

They say

We are both oppressor

And oppressed

In this global system of relationships

But my local reality

Shows me that

I’m more the oppressor

Than oppressed

In this restaurant system

That brought me up


I have floated

Between ungratefulness

And gratefulness

For this restaurant system

For my parents

All ingrained in me

Whether I want it or not


I have floated

Between taking up the burden

Of change

When I tried so,

I noticed how a little bird

Who would also keep flying into the restaurant

It would take a shit and fly away

The workers would say

“What an annoying bird

Coming in searching for food

We have to close the door

So it can’t sneak in anymore”

I think this is quite a metaphor for

My futile attempts to change this

Restaurant system

Inside out

Then I tried letting it go

Oh the guilt

It crawled upon me

Eating me

Inside out

Yes my parents tried to pull me back in

Indirectly playing this guilt game

But no it didn’t work

I am still in this limbo stage


Sort of ‘rebelling’


I have floated

Over space

And my mind

Has traveled over time

Past, future yet it seldom

Remained in the present


Yes it is hard for me to accept

My local reality

I have blamed my parents

I have blamed myself

Sometimes I just can’t be

Happy in the present moment

Because it is so hard to accept

This ‘reality’ surrounding me


Yes there is no denial

The truth is
That my brothers and sisters

Suffer in this present configuration of restaurant system

Embedded in the global capitalist system

One sister told me

How she rarely sees her children

And how it’s hard to survive on this

A little more than minimum wage salary

Another sister told me

How her days are always the same

No energy

No fighting spirit

Not much meaning

Just days passing by

Waiting for the end of the month paycheck…


Knowing this

It is hard to me

To go to ‘work’

Or pretend to work

My privileged position

Of simply

‘Helping’ out my parents
Like a good little boy

Should do

(Though I am not that young anymore)

So I stay home

And write

Then I eat the food

Earned by my parents work

Such a contradictory world is it



A voice whispers

Break Free!


I wish I knew

I am so ingrained in this

My attachments to life

To people, to family

My mind is so clouded in

Ignorance, craving and hatred

Lost in this ocean

How to fight this system

In which I am the Oppressor?


Perhaps it is time to

Let the old self die

And reborn new

(If that is possible)

That would mean

I need a new way of sustenance

Of living, of relationships

Where am I heading to?

I don’t know

But I know I am going somewhere

Though not running away from my Given reality

From Compassion

Towards my oppressed brothers and sisters

Somewhere where I can live

In the Present moment

No longer oppressor

No longer oppressed


If you know of a place like this

Please give me directions

Dear reader


These clouds gather and go 11.04.16

These clouds

Gather and go


These clouds of ignorance

Come and go

Veiling my beloved Moon


Sometimes the Moon shines

Its lovely light

Sometime it covers herself

With a dark veil

As if death permeates

The whole Universe


These clouds

Gather and go


The warm wind whispers

“The Moon shyly veils itself

In order to give herself to the right one”


My beloved Moon,

This path is long and painful and lonely

In order to reach your Heart


You spin the tides and the waves

To test the traveler.

Once you whispered to me

“Before you strive for Me,

First you have to cross the Ocean”

First step into the dry sand,

Then the waves,

Into the deep-sea,

Until you eventually

Reach the other shore

There we shall meet


These clouds

Gather and go


Down below,these shore waves

Have already battered me half-dead

How can I cross the Ocean and reach you

My beloved Moon?


These clouds

Gather and go


I wonder,

Perhaps I carry too much burden

No I can’t travel this burdened

With luggage from past and future

So much bondage to the things of this world

Still circling incessantly

Wishing happiness and escape from suffering


These clouds

Gather and go


Oh I’ve circled long

I see a sad child

A confused teenager

An over-worked middle aged man

And a lonely old-man

So much suffering


These clouds

Gather and go


I’ve tried some escape routes:


Following the ‘happy’ ones



And following the advice of the Ego

Yet I still suffer much


These clouds

Gather and go


Such is my bondage

To the things of this world:





Oh my Ego and I have fought

A tough fight for these

We kicked and punched and grasped

Running and chasing

As far as India

Until home returned

To fight again

For things of the world


These clouds

Gather and go


We fought a hard battle Ego

It’s seems like it’s time to Surrender

Surrender to the All

For you shall never win a battle against

The One, the Divine Creator

Of you and me and All

Accept yourself as you are

An earthly human

Created in the image of All

Confused and ignorant

Not knowing the path

Foolish and sinful

So Surrender and appreciate this moment


These clouds

Gather and go


These clouds

Gather and go


Sooner or later the clouds shall return again…