I am Whole and I’m Queer

Content warning

The content you are about to read might be considered offensive or inappropriate because it quotes racial slurs and homophobic names called to people who look and/or act different than the ‘normalizing crowd’. I have decided to quote these terms in an attempt to heal myself from the mental harm that these terms have caused me since my childhood years. This text/image is an act of resistance against racist and homophobic voices existing in my consciousness and an unapologetic declaration of rebellious Queerness – of challenging normativity in all its oppressive forms.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Paneleiro”

“Panelas”

Male white Portuguese voice screams

Fag, faggot

It means

Oh am I supposed to understand their language?

Isn’t my language

“Ching chong ling long”

Am I not a Chinaman?

“Jackie Chan”

They used to call me

Chinkie winkie little twinkie

A racist inner voice mocks

Is this voice ‘I’?

.

“Courage, child, courage!

Stand up against these bullies in your mind”

Mother Earth whispers

We stand with you

We love you Unconditionally

Heal my love my dear

From toes to navel to heart to crown

Rise and scream:

.

I am Whole and I’m Queer

Yea ying fucking yang

Dance its dance of creation in me

In every breath I take

Manifesting form

No labels can fully fix ‘my being’

‘I’ am sourced from the sea of non-self

Conditions and seeds

Sperm and egg into the realm of senses

Eyes, ears, nose, mouth, skin…

Burn like tinder in this forest fire

.

Oh Mind-Monkey jumps from branch to branch

Up until it sees the moon’s reflection

And jumps

into the Lake of Void

Ahhh

.

But Fire continues to burn all around…

Oh the journey continues…

 

 

Cages-final-webversion

Abirdscalling

Cages (2018)

Mixed-media (Watercolour, Sumi ink, Photoshop collage)

29.6 cm x 24.5cm

 

The Act of the Absurd

How absurd is consciousness seeking        Purpose?

                                       Isn’t that the spectacle of Life?
 
                           Sometimes I laugh
 
                 Sometimes I cry

                        Crave, Hate

                              All enveloped in that

                   Spectacle of
                                light and dark
                                               Oh the absurdity of my Act!

                         I act and Laugh

                                   As I continue to perform

                                                 The never-ending Act zero

Lost?

 

Searching-web

I thought I was 

                               Lost

                                       but

                     this

                                                path-

            -process        

                                     of       

                                                   losing              

                    the 'self'       

                                              can  help 

                              one

                                           Find

                                                                        that Fire that lights up the world.

 

 

Traveler or Dreamer?

Journeys

Part of my ‘growing up’ process has been accepting that there is “no happily ever after”… however I am also learning that there is no “unhappily ever after” either… hence as a temporary visitor I am free to fill all the time and space ‘in-between’ haha… with words?

 

Am I a traveler

Or a dreamer?

 

Space,

Time,

Restless mind?

 

Home?

Where is home?

Precious home of my dreams?

 

Am I dreaming?

Or am I travelling?

 

Images flow

Of mountains, rivers and trees,

Trains and planes,

Birds and cranes,

Scattering the boundless sky

Free finally free?

Or locked

in this cage of Dreams?

 

Perfect home family wealth success fame respect body pleasures satiated…

Is there an end to this stream?

 

With thirst,

Comes the journey

 

Fallen journeys

Leaf like memories

Dance with the wind

As winter comes

 

Seasons change

So do places, people and nature

So I sing,

 

Am I a traveler

Or a dreamer?