The Act of the Absurd

How absurd is consciousness seeking        Purpose?

                                       Isn’t that the spectacle of Life?
                           Sometimes I laugh
                 Sometimes I cry

                        Crave, Hate

                              All enveloped in that

                   Spectacle of
                                light and dark
                                               Oh the absurdity of my Act!

                         I act and Laugh

                                   As I continue to perform

                                                 The never-ending Act zero

Ode to Proletarian Worker

In the sea of unknown faces

Rain drops jazz

With New York lights

And puddles

The wealthy and the busy

Tap their echoing shoes

Lost somewhere in this Dream

It seems like the only one who still knows the way

Is the proletarian worker

Grounded by the hardships of this city life

As he sees the homeless brothers and sisters

He asks,

“Are you guys doing alright?”

“Do you have any garbage I can take for you?”

Oh the Universe explodes in joy – yes that is what I searched all along!


I don’t know about filial piety

So I was working in my parent’s Chinese restaurant and this stream of words came to my mind and I typed it up and blogged about it…



I don’t know about filial piety

And I’ve been ungrateful to parents


I don’t know about filial piety

And I’ve caused much suffering to parents

Which in turn propelled back to me



I tried to be a filial son

Without knowing what is filial piety



One year later

I still don’t know about filial piety

But I know of bondage


No, I don’t know about filial piety

But I know of attachment

Attachment to parents

To their material wealth and comfort


Not knowing about filial piety

I’ve exploited fellow brothers and sisters

In order to maintain wealth and status

For the family


Ignorant about filial piety

I fixated my sleepy eyes to external wealth

And I’ve tried suppressing

All my inner dreams and desires

In order to be filial to parents


The heart giggles like a child

Seeing the mind searching


What is filial piety?

I’ve tried searching around

I’ve read through the 24 Paragons of Filial Piety

Tears flowed through my eyes

I’ve stumbled upon the Tale of the Filial Parrot

And flew all the way to Mount Putuo

Ending in Mount Wutai

Searching for Compassion and Wisdom

After a long climb up

Flowers blossomed

Swallows flew in circles

Blossoming Flowers Wutaishan.jpg


And the four golden letters ingrained in the wall

edited (2 of 5)

edited (4 of 5).jpg

感恩  Gratefulness

惜福 To cherish one’s fortune

A wise teacher

Once taught me

How love is like a ladder first parents then society

And Love, expansive Love!

What is filial piety without love?


Filial piety without love

Is like pig-like patriarchy masked  with make-up and lipstick to fool foolish children



The childish heart giggles


I still don’t know about filial piety

But I know of patriarchy

I’ve experienced it

I am slowly becoming enveloped by it

As the eldest son of a immigrant Chinese family


Sense of duty!

Obligation and morality!

Male breadwinner

Women in the house

Marrying and having babies

And aging and dying



The childish heart giggles


Down with patriarchy!

Oh Heart break open from your cage

Fill yourself with Love

And gratefulness

And change and Revolution!


Love your parents with all its contradictions

And climb up that ladder of Love

And towards…Death



The childish heart giggles

Mother’s wisdom

A dear teacher once taught me that everyday should be mother’s day. Though mother’s day is a highly commercialized  and profitable day, its vibe still gives me a boost of energy to be grateful for mother.


Mother once said that

Life is like a shadow puppet show



Leather or paper figures,

A light source,

And its shadows will dance,




Be merry,





All in front of the double veil

Of light and shadow


Mother once whispered that

We are spirit

Our bodies are just shells

Performing theatrical roles

As given by the Lord


Mother once hinted

That Life’s plays are many

(Make sure to perform them)

(And continue this cycle)

Find a good partner,


Have children,

Get a house,

A job that sustains,

Be a filial son to your aging parents

Don’t expect too much

Enough is enough

Life is not easy dear

Too many hardships indeed


Mother once explained

That all that I have now

Food, house, freedom and privilege

Took more than twenty years of suffering

To make this all happen for me,

The next generation

I need to be grateful for it

(Though we all still experience Dukkha)





Dwells in the minds of the majority of people,

I am one of those 99%,

It seems like everyone lives unsatisfied about something:

People want Better,

Better parents,



People want more and more,

More wealth,




Oh Happiness always seems fleeting away…


The shadow puppet show continues…

Characters continue recycling

The music continues…


Oh little bird,

There is no escape

From Dukkha,

Even the mighty Monkey-King

Could not leap away

From Buddha’s palm

Accept the Noble Truths


When the puppet show seems too convincing,

When the shadows seem too real,

When the veils too blinding,

Mother shall embrace you

Fully and warmly

In that circle of emptiness

These clouds gather and go 11.04.16

These clouds

Gather and go


These clouds of ignorance

Come and go

Veiling my beloved Moon


Sometimes the Moon shines

Its lovely light

Sometime it covers herself

With a dark veil

As if death permeates

The whole Universe


These clouds

Gather and go


The warm wind whispers

“The Moon shyly veils itself

In order to give herself to the right one”


My beloved Moon,

This path is long and painful and lonely

In order to reach your Heart


You spin the tides and the waves

To test the traveler.

Once you whispered to me

“Before you strive for Me,

First you have to cross the Ocean”

First step into the dry sand,

Then the waves,

Into the deep-sea,

Until you eventually

Reach the other shore

There we shall meet


These clouds

Gather and go


Down below,these shore waves

Have already battered me half-dead

How can I cross the Ocean and reach you

My beloved Moon?


These clouds

Gather and go


I wonder,

Perhaps I carry too much burden

No I can’t travel this burdened

With luggage from past and future

So much bondage to the things of this world

Still circling incessantly

Wishing happiness and escape from suffering


These clouds

Gather and go


Oh I’ve circled long

I see a sad child

A confused teenager

An over-worked middle aged man

And a lonely old-man

So much suffering


These clouds

Gather and go


I’ve tried some escape routes:


Following the ‘happy’ ones



And following the advice of the Ego

Yet I still suffer much


These clouds

Gather and go


Such is my bondage

To the things of this world:





Oh my Ego and I have fought

A tough fight for these

We kicked and punched and grasped

Running and chasing

As far as India

Until home returned

To fight again

For things of the world


These clouds

Gather and go


We fought a hard battle Ego

It’s seems like it’s time to Surrender

Surrender to the All

For you shall never win a battle against

The One, the Divine Creator

Of you and me and All

Accept yourself as you are

An earthly human

Created in the image of All

Confused and ignorant

Not knowing the path

Foolish and sinful

So Surrender and appreciate this moment


These clouds

Gather and go


These clouds

Gather and go


Sooner or later the clouds shall return again…







Letting go

Go ego

Let go

You have created me

So much pain


Go away

Or you shouldn’t go?

What would happen to Me?

Would I vanish into thin air


And stop writing?


Am I really the writer?

Or the observer?

Hm am I the narrator?

Or the one silently watching

Life folding and unfolding itself?


I see now

I am the one who takes up the heavy burden

I am the one who carries the heavy rucksack on my back

Oh it hurts so much

On my back, neck and head

I see now

It’s time to let go

Letting go

That is the Path


Really it’s not about taking more in

But of letting go

Flow on with the River


Burden not

Yourself with changing the world

It’s about letting go

Your ego is

The most destructive,






Patriarchal force

In this world

If you let go of it

The world will change accordingly

Sounds simple right?

No it’s quite difficult

But not impossible

This process might take

Lives and lives

But it’s better to start late than never

Just let go


Remember the story of Lord Buddha and the Brahmin

With a flower offering?

Buddha told him

Let go

The Brahmin switched the flower

From his right to his left hand

Buddha told him

Let go

He dropped the flower

Buddha told him again

Let go

Startled, the Brahmin replied

I am empty handed

There is nothing I can let go of

Lord Buddha replied

I did not mean the flower

But of your clinging mind

The Six Dusts, the Six Sense-Faculties and the six Sense-Consciousness

Just let go

And change will come…


What am I?

What am I?

I ask myself

Flowing with life


I am not a writer

I lack wisdom to teach

Though I observe

Anthropologist I am not

Discipline I lack

To become a real researcher

I am active but not really an activist

I care but I am not a social worker

Connecting people I like

But community organizer I am not

I can take some photographs

But photographer I am not

I like to paint

But not really an artist

I can dance sometimes

Though bboy I am not

I enjoy playing with words

But poet I am not


What? What am I then?

I ask myself

Contemplating life unfolding


Am I that tiny little bird that sings perched on a blossoming plum tree?

Am I that tree that stands facing the unforgiving change of seasons?

Am I that clinging leaf that falls while pondering its impermanence?

Oh Mother Earth are you going to embrace me soon?

Am I that tingling morning dew dripping into the eternal river

That flows and flows through

Mountains and valleys and plains

To finally empty itself into the Sea


What? I am nothing really?


I must be something

Hm maybe I am nothing yet something at the same time

I don’t know

I am quite confused


Oh! Perhaps I am a confused bird singing perched on a blossoming plum tree with leaves filled with dew dripping into the eternally flowing river flowing towards the Sea emptying itself…

Oh I see you now ego! It’s nice to meet you my dear ego trying to be someone, to become something darn we do have a long journey ahead and lots of suffering on its way so let us wish ourselves a bon voyage towards the Sea it’s going to be a rough ride home